WARNING!!!!!! Ok, now for those of you who are so refined that you can't talk about bodily functions, STOP RIGHT HERE! Don't go any further, because this may offend you.
The Poopie List
The Peter Cottontail Poopie- It feels like you've done something major, but when you go to flush, all you see is little pellets.
The Giant Sequoia Poopie- It is so large you need a lumberjack to cut it into flushable pieces.
The Bust a Vein in Your Head Poopie- You push and squeeze so hard, you are afraid your head may explode.
The Houdini Poopie- You know you went. When you go to flush, there is nothing there...it disappeared!
The Snake Charmer Poopie- It comes out in such a long piece, it takes on the appearance of a coiled snake.
The "My God Will it Ever Stop" Poopie- You go so often you dread the clean-up process from wiping yourself raw.
The Corn Poopie- Self explanatory!
The Nascar Poopie- It comes out so fast, you'd swear your colon was greased.
The Never Ending Story Poopie- No matter how often you wipe, you still can't seem to come clean. One could go through 3/4 of a roll before you are satisfied the job is done.
The Mr. Clean Poopie- Everything comes out so clean and tidy, you almost feel guilty wasting the TP.
The Jalepeno Nightmare/ also known as The Hot Lava Poopie- It burns so bad coming out, you swear you'll never eat that Texas style chilli again.
The Peeking Gopher Poopie- By the time you reach the bowl, it's already at the backdoor peeking its little head out.
The De'ja' vu Poopie- You flush, everything goes down OK, then that stubborn little guy keeps coming back up.
The Back Splash Poopie- You launch it out with such incredible force, the water in the bowl splashes up drenching your bum.
The Second Coming Poopie- You do your business, clean up , start to get redressed, then...suddenly, your bowels inform you its time for round two.
The Mighty Mississippi Poopie- Wow! You're probably wondering where all that liquid is coming from.
And last, but I am sure not least,
The Road-Kill Poopie- Leaves the bathroom (and a six block radius), smelling so bad, you'd swear an animal had crawled up your butt and died. This may require a HazMat team to clear the air.